Interpersonal Life Skills

#1 Showing Appreciation

1.      Look at the person.

2.      Use a pleasant, sincere voice.

3.      Say “Thank you.”  Describe what the person did that you liked.

4.      Say why you appreciated what he or she did.

5.      Offer your help in the future.

#2 Accepting Decisions of Authority

1.      Look at the person who is in charge.

2.      Stay calm.

3.      Use a pleasant voice.

4.      Say “Okay” or “I understand.”

5.      Bring up your disagreement later.

6.      Don’t argue, pout, or get angry.

#3 Completing Tasks

1.      Listen to or read instructions carefully.

2.      Get everything you will need for the job together.

3.      Work carefully and neatly.

4.      Think about what you are doing.

5.      Look to see that the job is complete.

6.      Check back with the person who gave you the task.

#4 Coping with Change

1.      Identify exactly what is changing.

2.      Asking questions if you need more information.

3.      Stay calm and relaxed.

4.      Discuss your feelings about the change with an adult.

5.      Talk about what you can do to handle the change positively.

#5  Solving Problems

1.      If someone is speaking to you, continue to listen and look at him or her.

2.      Breathe slowly and deeply.

3.      Think about breathing deeply and relaxing tense areas of your body.

4.      If needed, ask the other person if you can be alone for a few minutes.

5.      When alone, continue to breathe deeply and tell yourself to relax.

#6  Controlling Anger

1.      If someone is speaking to you, continue to listen and look at him or her.

2.      Breathe slowly and deeply.

3.      Think about breathing deeply and relaxing tense areas of your body.

4.      If needed, ask the other person if you can be alone for a few minutes.

5.      When alone, continue to breathe deeply and tell yourself to relax.    

#7  Starting a Conversation

1.      Look at the person or people you are with.

2.      Wait until no one else is talking.

3.      Use a calm, pleasant voice.

4.      Ask a question or begin talking about a new topic.

5.      Be sure to pause to give others a chance to talk.

#8  Coping with Conflict

1.      Stay calm and relaxed.

2.      Listen to what the people who disagree are saying.

3.      Think of helpful options.

4.      If appropriate, offer these options.

5.      Leave if the situation becomes violent or dangerous.

#9  Listening to Others

1.      Look at the person who is talking.

2.      Sit or stand quietly.  Don’t yawn, whisper to others or fidget.

3.      Wait until the person is finished talking.

4.      Say “Okay”, “Thanks”, or “I see.”

#10  Dealing with Group Pressure

1.      Look at people in the group.  Stay calm and serious.

2.      Say “No” to any activity you do not want to do.

3.      Suggest something else to do.

4.      Leave if the group continues to put pressure on you.

#11  Cooperating with Others

1.      Discuss goals or tasks with others.

2.      Decide what each person must do to accomplish the goal.

3.      Give and accept constructive criticism.

4.      Share information and resources.  If playing a game, follow the rules.

5.      Praise the efforts of others.

#12  Being on Time

1.      Find out when you need to be at your destination.  Figure out how long it will take to get there.

2.      Leave 5 to 10 minutes early.

3.      Go directly there.

4.      Check in with your teacher, supervisor or the person you are meeting.

5.      If you are late, apologize sincerely.

#13  Controlling Emotions

1.      Think about situations that make you angry or lose control.

2.      Monitor the feelings you have in stressful situations.

3.      Tell yourself to breathe deeply and relax in these situations.

4.      Calmly describe your feelings to others.

5.      Praise yourself when you stay calm.

#14  Dealing with Frustration

1.      Identify frustrated feelings when they arise.

2.      Breathe deeply and relax.

3.      Discuss frustrations with a caring adult or friend.

4.      Figure out what causes your frustration.

5.      Find things to do that bring feelings of success and well-being.

#15  Getting Someone’s Attention

1.      Wait until the other person is finished speaking.

2.      Look at the person.

3.      Say “Excuse me.”

4.      Wait until the person looks at or speaks to you.  Proceed with what you want to say.

#16  Asking for help  

1.      Look at the person.

2.      Ask the person if he or she has time to help you (now or later).

3.      Clearly describe the problem or what kind of help you need.

4.      Thank the person for helping.